Grace For The Trenches
Encouragment on your journey of raising littles..
Birth Storys :
Stories of God's Faithfulness
The Birth Story of Jace Matthew James.
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Growing up as a girl we often hear the negative side of childbirth. I can remember attending baby showers of family members or family friends since I was a young girl and being slightly terrified of the details they shared about their birth experiences. Until our struggle to conceive a few years after we were married, I hadn't studied much about God's view of pregnancy and childbirth. I began to intentionally dissect the perceptions I had about pregnancy and childbirth, and replace them with the truth of what God really wanted for me. By the time I went into labour with Jace, those fears I had as a young girl were replaced with faith, and I went into the experience with a totally different perspective.
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I'm including the story of my first child birth experience for women who believe that it is possible to have not only a positive, but a supernatural birthing experience.
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Here is the story of how God brought Jace Matthew James into the world on August 3rd, 2013:
(Note: This it taken from my journal recording the details of this day, so it is slightly personal! )
The day I went into labor, I woke up feeling “different” but I passed it off as excitement. It was Friday August 2nd, and I met Joel at the Doctor's office for a regular prenatal check up. At one day overdue, with my first child, I was more than anxious to meet him! The Doctor said not to get too excited, but that things were moving along. I couldn’t help but be giddy, progress was progress!
Anticipating that labor was near, Joel and I decided to go out for one last “Starbucks Date”. We mostly giggled our way through coffee, talking about our baby’s upcoming arrival. I stopped in at work after our date and caught up on a few last minute things. Looking back I think I was just trying to keep myself busy.
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Throughout the day, my Braxton Hick’s contractions were getting more frequent and intense, but I still considered them false labour, and went on with the last of my intense "nesting". At my in-laws that night for dinner, I told my mother in law “these Braxton Hicks are starting to hurt!” To which she replied, "Jaime- those are real contractions!" I had no idea! I guess that’s what happens with your first baby!
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We spent the evening together, casually timing the contractions, Joel and I still not sure if anything was going to “happen” that night. Time came for Joel to head out to a youth event, and mom and I watched a movie. At this point the contractions started coming more frequently, but still were hardly painful.
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Around 11pm they were 5 minutes apart, and I decided I needed Joel to be home- NOW. I called him and he rushed home, breaking all speed limits. We called the hospital together, and the nurse told me by the tone of my voice, she could tell I wasn’t in pain and should stay home! However, we decided to go in, “just to see".
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Joel and I laughed our way there, there was no fear, only excitement. It felt surreal. The hospital was quiet as we arrived, since it was almost midnight. They monitored me for about an hour and then gave us the verdict: “You’re staying!” Even as I type this I remember the excitement I felt when they told me they were getting me a room prepared!
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To progress things quicker the nurse suggested I walk. We spent the next 2 hours walking the halls of the hospital, hand in hand. After walking, it was time to try the exercise ball. Joel and I sat in the room and played games together while I bounced on the ball. Periodically, the nurse came in to check my vitals and monitor the baby’s heart rate, but besides that, they left us alone.
A side note- I hate hospitals! They have always made me very uncomfortable. I spent a lot of time in them when my dad had cancer. So that was one part of the labor experience I was not looking forward to. However, in that hospital room, despite all the medical equipment, I felt strangely cozy and comfortable.
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God’s presence was in that room!
At this point, the pain was not increasing, but it was spreading to my back and making me uncomfortable. We decided to try out the soaker tub. I sat in the tub, and Joel held my hand. This was one of the most meaningful times of my labor experience. The presence of God was so real to me in that room. We praised God together in song, and just thanked Him for who He is. I had my eyes closed much of the time, just allowing Him to speak to me and move through me. This was such an intimate time between Joel and I as well as we praised God together. This is one of the moments of my labor experience I never want to forget.
Eventually, it was time to get out, and the next decision was to break my water or not. We decided to go ahead with it, and the Doctor broke my water at 8 am. At this point, contractions came longer and stronger, where it felt like there wasn’t a break in between. I decided to ask for the laughing gas. My first thought when using it was "This is a joke, it doesn’t make me feel like laughing at all!" While it didn’t help with any pain, it did help me relax for a bit.
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As the intensity of contractions increased, the nurse had me stand up and lean over the counter to encourage baby to descend. They told me NOT to push, as I wasn't fully dialated. Joel tells me later the nurse went to the Dr. and said that I was pushing and couldn’t help it- even though I wasn’t fully dialated, and he responded “well, lets see what she can do”.
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The next thing I remember is hearing the Dr’s name being paged thinking, ok, something must be ready to happen if they’re paging him to my room! And something was happening: it was time to push! Pushing was the most physical and draining part of labor- but it was my favourite because I knew something was finally happening and that we would see baby soon!
I started pushing at 9:00 am. I remember talking to myself, saying over and over “I can do this”. I remember the nurse and Joel encouraging me and saying “yes you can!” I really worked on keeping my focus- I didn’t want to get my hopes up thinking that he would arrive right away and the pushing would be over, but really- that’s how it happened! I ended up pushing 5 different sets, 3 pushes in each.
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After 27 minutes of “pushing”- at 9:27am- Jace was born!! Best moment of my life so far- when they brought him right up onto my chest and placed him in my arms!! I was shaking and laughing and crying all at the same time- and remember saying “It’s you! You’re here!” Jace’s eyes were open and so alert- he kept looking around, taking it all in. I will remember this moment and the details of it forever.
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My whole labour experience was absolutely supernatural! Of course I experienced pain, exhaustion (especially being up all night) and all the physical labour that comes with a birth experience. But more than that, I experienced a peace, a joy and God's tangible presence through the entire experience that is unlike anything I've ever experienced.
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There is something deeply spiritual about giving birth to new life; every woman before me and every woman after me will attest to that. How amazing it was to actually go through this experience with the very One who created and formed me as a woman, for this beautiful opportunity to bring new life into this world.
The Birth Story of Max Judah John.
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Oh beautiful day. The day Max Judah John entered the world.Life changed forever again for the second time. Words dont do it justice, but I at least want to try and capture some of how I felt in the moment Max came into the world, and the experience leading up to it.
Supernatural: Def’n:
-of or relating to an order of existence beyond the visible observable universe, especially of or relating to God.
-Departing from what is usual or normal especially so as to appear to transcend the laws of nature.
Max’s birth was a supernatural experience. It was beyond anything I could have imagined or experienced or felt in the natural. There are so many things that stand out to me about his birth experience, I’m going to try and sum them up.
-Joy Unspeakable. When Max arrived into my arms (rather onto my chest), I experienced an overwhelming joy, tears of joy and laughter. I was shaking, crying, laughing, all at the same time. The emotion of it was overwhelmingly beautiful. I never want to forget how it felt to not only birth him, but to have him appear into our lives and into my arms for the first time. Nothing will ever compare.
-Supernatural strength for my “God given task”. What happened with Max’s birth in the “natural” wasn’t possible. The way the labor progressed so suddenly, the fact that he arrived so quickly with very little pushing, and the fact that I had basically zero recovery (no tears, no swelling)- is not something that could have happened naturally. It only came from supernatural strength I received from God. He is the one who strengthened my physical body, helping it to operate just as He created it to operate. He is the one who empowered me to do what needed to be done. Naturally speaking, I don’t think I would have believed it could be possible with zero intervention/ drugs, and limited pain.
-Peace that transcends all understanding. “You will keep him in perfect peace whose MIND is stayed on YOU, because he trusts in YOU.” (Isaiah 26:3). Keeping my mind fixed on Jesus is what made my labor and birth experience what it was.
-Expectations. Many people go into labor EXPECTING a horrible experience- and that’s exactly what they get. I know women who have claimed I was just “lucky” because I had such a great experience, but I know better. The reason I had such an amazing experience was that God was allowed to be not only involved, but in charge. I took it on as my mission to find out what God said about childbirth, and made a DECISION to get myself on board with God’s plan for childbirth. Where I had fears, I studied God’s perspective and allowed Him to replace my fears with promises of TRUTH. Because I know that God is faithful to His Word, I was able to EXPECT to walk in these truths during my labor. “Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus- just to take Him at His Word!”
Things I was believing God for:
-My water to break on its own.
-Labor to progress naturally, at it’s own pace
-No interventions of any kind,
-No medication, not even laughing gas.
-A quick labor.
-The right Doctor and nurses for us.
-Not to share a room after giving birth.
-And of course- a STRONG HEALTHY BABY and a STRONG HEALTHY MAMA for the whole birthing process.
Well God is faithful to His Word! This is EXACTLY what we received- every single point!! (Next time I will know to believe God for a room on the labor floor- I had no idea they could be full!!)
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Max’s Birth Story:
Sunday August 23rd. Close to midnight. Joel was already asleep, I had just gone to bed when I heard two faint “pops”. Moments later I felt something wet. My initial thought was “I couldn’t pee my pants could I??” I quickly realized it may be my water that broke. Since I had my water broken in the hospital with Jace, I wasn’t familiar with what it felt like. I changed my clothes and headed back to bed and googled “popping sound when your water breaks”. Yep- it’s an actual thing! A few minutes later, I felt wet again. This time, I woke up Joel and told him my water may have??!! broken.... I still wasn’t sure- it was way different than I had anticipated! I realized it was most likely my water that broke when contractions started about half an hour later. I had had so many strong braxton hicks contractions for the past month, and I remember thinking- “how will I know when real contractions start”? Well as a reminder to myself for future- it was easy to tell the difference once real contractions actually started!
I didn’t want to wake Joel, incase it really was labor, I wanted him to be well rested. I ended up trying to sleep as best as I could. When I was awake, I would time the contractions, which were coming every 15 minutes. I would fall asleep here and there, sometimes waking up for a contraction and then back to sleep. When I finally saw light streaming through the windows, I started timing for real- every 7-10 minutes and I woke Joel. We decided just to go through the morning as usual, we knew from last time we didn’t want to go to the hospital too early!
I had a really enjoyable morning. I read my bible, enjoyed some personal time with God, and spent some time preparing mentally and spiritually for the labor process that was to come. I felt at peace, confident, and ready. I on purpose focussed on dealing with the fear of the pain and pressure that accompanies the “active” part of labor, prior to pushing. When you’ve already gone through labor, it’s helpful because you know what to expect; however, it’s also tough because- you know what’s coming!!
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Around 11am, the contractions were almost 5 min a part and getting more consistent, so I called the hospital. I was told they were way over capacity, no nurses available to take my call, and to call Health Link instead. I called Health Link and found out that if my water had truly broken (almost 12 hours before!) I should have already gone to the hospital! Oops! I hadn’t realized- I was still thinking you don’t go until your contractions are at a consistent 5 minutes apart! Well, it was time to go! I went to grab Joel who was playing FIFA with Jace. Joel asked if they could finish the game. I said sure, and went about puttering upstairs. Until I got a strong contractions and realized- wait a second, I’m going to have a baby, I don’t have time for a FIFA game!!
On the way to the hospital, we grabbed some snacks from Tim Hortons and made our way slowly to the hospital. We still didn’t want to be there too soon, especially since they were full.
12:30pm Once at the hospital, they set us up in the observation room in a cubicle. They monitored the baby and my contractions. Baby was doing great. I was doing great. They also confirmed that yes in fact my water had broken! The resident Doctor came to discuss what our next steps were. Because my water had broken so long ago, risk of infection was high, and they usually like to induce. I told her I was not going to be induced thank you. She called my on call Dr (Dr Holmes). We could overhear her phone conversation- he asked how I was doing and she replied “she’s fine- when I asked her if she was having a contraction she said yeah I think so” and laughed! Joel and I giggled! I thought of Jackie Mize’s Supernatural Pregnancy book where the nurses didn’t believe she was in labor because “her smile hadn’t changed yet”. Here we were, contractions 5 minutes a part, playing games in our cubicle, laughing together and enjoying the experience. At one point I asked Joel to stop making me laugh so hard or they would never believe us or give us a room!!
2pm- Dr. Holmes arrived to decide what to do with me. By this point, my contractions were now a consistent 5 minutes a part, and he explained that they weren’t even allowed to induce me now (yay!) In his words, “so you stayed away from us long enough so we couldn’t induce you”. Haha! I didn’t know that, but maybe that’s why God had us stay home so long before contacting the hospital. We chatted with the Dr, the resident Dr, and a nurse about what they should do with me, since there were no rooms available. Joel suggested we go to Chapters and “walk” (no thanks, we’re wearing hospital bands!). I said I was comfortable leaving the hospital. The Dr didn’t want me to go because he didn’t want labor to pick up while we were out. Finally, they gave me the go ahead to leave, with strict instructions to Joel to get me back there ASAP if it progressed.
As we were packing up our stuff to leave, the contractions suddenly got stronger, and started coming even sooner. It was noticably picking up, and I told Joel- I don’t think we can leave. We decided to walk the halls instead to see if we could keep things progressing. I asked Joel to talk to me during contractions to get my mind off it. When a contraction came I’d say “now” and he’d ask me a question. He took this job very seriously :) The funniest question he came up with was “where do you think we should put the Christmas tree in our new house?” The funny thing is it actually made me think about it and I didn’t even give a thought to the entire contraction!
After a while of walking, I felt the need to relax. I had enjoyed the tub so much in my labor with Jace, so we asked to use it this time. I was excited to hear that although the rooms were full- no one was using the tub! The nurses were more then willing to put us in the tub room, since they needed to stick us somewhere!
3:30pm- Tub room. I enjoyed a nice soak in our “spa room” as Joel and I affectionately named it. We listened to worship music and talked. Joel played monopoly and I relaxed. He was still tasked with talking to me through contractions- and he did fantastic! We were assigned a nurse who checked on me every so often. She was pretty certain things weren’t picking up very quickly because I wasn’t having too hard of a time through contractions. She felt my stomach for a few of them and said sorry, we can’t put you in a room yet- we need to wait for the next woman who’s actually in active labor.
4:30pm- Although our spa room was great, I was getting very pruned- and ready to get out of the water! But we still had no room to go to, and sitting in the tiny bathroom wasn’t very attractive to me. The nurse suggested we go for a walk?! Things were feeling a little too intense for a walk! I decided to get out of the tub anyways, and as I stood up to dry off- all of a sudden things clicked in to high gear. I needed to hold on to Joel’s neck and sway through the contraction. The nurse came in just then and Joel told her things were picking up. She still wasn’t too convinced, but stayed to examine me. We soon found out that this was it! The contractions were coming back to back- no break in between. When the nurse realized this she ran- literally- to get a room ready.
4:45pm- Finally, we got a room to give birth in! Joel stood me at the window while the nurses frantically prepared the room for baby’s arrival. I remember standing half naked at the window, blinds wide open and laughing since I could see people below. I remember the nurse telling me “Don’t worry- I can and will deliver this baby if the doctor doesn’t get here in time”. That made me realize things were moving- FAST!
I remember asking Joel to put on the “marty music”- some anointed instrumental music we enjoy. In only a few minutes, they had me on the bed and in position. Here came the most intense part of the labor experience: “DON’T PUSH YET”!! DON’T push?!? That’s always the hardest part! But thank God for an awesome nurse! She showed me how to “blow it away”- when the contraction came and urge to push- she had me blow down and out- like blowing a trumpet. Very difficult- but effective!
One thing I loved about this time was being so aware of everything that was going on. I was able to focus and look Joel in the eyes and converse with him. That was one of the most meaningful times of the labor experience- locking eyes with him and working together. Joel was the most fantastic coach. A huge part of how amazing the experience was is because Joel and I did it all together. Although I was the one doing the actual work of labor, he was right there every step, coaching, encouraging me, and I couldn’t have done it without him!
Now came time to push. Yes my favourite part because even though it is absolutely the most physical event of my life, you know that something is “happening”.
From what I remember, I did 5 sets of 3-4 pushes in each. The nurse did a good job of instructing me when to push and when to rest, but I still didn’t know if I was making any progress. Then Joel tells me “He has hair, just like Jace!” “You can see his hair??!!” Alright, he’s coming soon! I don’t want to get into details of the pressure that you experience during this part of labour, but I am so thankful that it was only for a few brief minutes!! (Minutes that felt a lot longer in the moment ;). When the nurse started giving me strong instructions to stop pushing, and then give “little” pushes- I knew this was it!! Right after that- Max entered the world and was placed immediately on my chest. Joy. Ultimate Joy. Joel and I were both crying, laughing, I was shaking- and there he was- the most amazing little boy- lying there in my arms!!! I felt like Joel, Max, and I were the only ones in the room. While the nurses and doctor fiddled with things, Joel and I just enjoyed our little man and the moment that would mark us forever- the birth of our second son. So surreal. I wish I could put it all into words but it’s not possible.
Next, the Doctor helped me deliver the placenta, Joel cut the chord, and Max was cleaned up. I had no tears, no stiches, and realized soon after- almost no swelling! What I soon found out is that the whole labor experience from transition, to active labor, to pushing, to Max’s birth- all happened in FORTY FIVE MINUTES!! It was incredible- not something I could have done on my own- it was God from beginning to end.
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The Birth Story of Londyn Erin.
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Wednesday January 3rd:
Almost two weeks overdue, wondering each day- could this be the day! It was a mix between relief that we didn’t have a Christmas baby- and anxiousness over wanting to meet our baby already!
Today during my devotion time, I wrote out a petition to God, detailing the specifics of what we were believing for now that we were this far overdue. (include a picture of it from my journal)
What I didn’t know was that Joel had had a similar conversation with the Lord the same day and was believing that our baby would be born the next day.
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Thursday January 4th:
Woke up around 2:30am with a contraction (felt a little different than a Braxton Hicks so I was pretty sure it was an actual contraction. I stayed awake to time a few- they were only coming every 15 minutes. I was able to fall back to sleep on and off. When the boys woke us up for good I told Joel what was happening, but nothing very intense or closer together.
We went to our pre-arranged ultrasound at 11:30, slightly uncomfortable driving and doing the ultrasound with contractions every 10-15. Ultrasound showed that baby “couldn’t be doing better”- yay- which we already knew. Got a cute picture of her arm and fist- she looked very strong!
After the ultrasound, we headed out to the midwife’s office. Our truck wouldn’t make it up the icy driveway so we had to walk/ waddle up. The midwife checked me and I was 7ish cm dilated- which was progress! Contractions every 10 min ish while we were at her office. On the way home we stopped for a hot water bottle for my back. At home we packed up the boys to go stay at Opa and Oma’s. They were both SO excited for their first sleep over! Joel said when he dropped them off Jace ran down the driveway he was so pumped.
When Joel got home, things had picked up a bit. We were both so excited to be in our own home! He sat at the island and talked to me while I did laps around the kitchen- a hot water bottle on my back and a hot rice pack on my front! It was so cozy being home alone- no hospital feel. I knew already how much I was going to enjoy a homebirth!
I texted the midwife when the contractions got to be 5 min a part- but she said to text her back when I wasn’t talking through them. This was the 1 tricky part to me about a homebirth- my labours usually seem to go slow and then bam- its intense and them time to push- so I wasn’t quite sure when to call. I figured we would just play it by ear.
The back pain picked up (it was the same as Jace’s labour when he was face up which we soon realized- baby girl was still sitting face up). Hot water sounded enticing, so we filled up the pool as much as we could, and in I went.
FAVOURITE part of labor: The hot water was GLORIOUS! I lounged out in the birth tub, watching the Crown, and Joel brought me a delicious meal of pot roast, potatoes and vegetables from my mom. It was probably half an hour of this, and it was AMAZING!
Midwife arrives: Jen had text me that she was ready to come and would get her supplies set up. The hot water had slowed things down a bit and I remember thinking oh no- what if she comes and my labour has stopped! Jen arrived at 6pm ish, with more supplies than I had imagined! She got everything set up in the bedroom and hallway. Then I got out of the tub and she checked baby’s heart rate etc- everything was great. We realized baby was face up and she gave me her suggestion for turning baby/ speeding things up: Do the stairs 2 at a time, and lunge upwards during contractions. Way easier said than done! But I was willing!
Stairs and lunges: In between contractions I did 2 stairs at a time as fast as I could, most of the time, Joel encouraged me through jokes and making fun of me till I asked him to stop making me laugh! Joel is honestly the BEST labour partner. So funny and helpful. When I needed a break from the stairs Joel and I did a few laps in the kitchen holding hands- we prayed and agreed that baby would turn and get in position.
Meaningful moment: praying together in the coziness of our own home, lights dim, just the 2 of us.
Surprisingly, the stairs was a meaningful time for me…. After a while I put my headphones in, blasted music, and worked hard with the inspiration of meeting our baby girl soon! I think it felt good knowing there was something I could “do” even though it was hard.
At this point, things got as the midwife would say, “pushy”, and Jen called her back up midwife- Tina to come. This was more than exciting for me because I didn’t realize things were going that quickly. One thing I realized at this point that I loved was the midwives approach to birth is to let it progress at it’s own speed- with minimal intervention- but- it was like they EXPECTED it to go fast- whereas I always felt in the hospital that they had the approach that it was going to be a long time. I found this inspiring- if they felt it was going to happen soon- it made me believe it too!
Time for the Pool: It was time to get in the tub and it was a nice pain reliever during the intense time. I was still waiting for my water to break. Jen suggested I get out and sit on the toilet- relaxing my muscles sometimes caused things to happen.
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The BEST birth partner: Joel sat beside me during this time and held my head in his hands- pressing over my ears (for some reason this really helped me) with each contraction. It didn’t take long until I felt a crazy amount of pressure and my water broke right then, right into the toilet. I’ve never had that experience before! “You need to get back in the tub- now!” That was the instruction from the midwives and I slowly made my way back to the tub.
Time to Push: One difference I noticed about the water birth was that the time in between pushes seemed (to me) to be longer/ more periods of calm in between, probably due to the relaxation of the water. I don’t know how long I was pushing (I hope to get that info), but it was probably similar to Jace and Max’s labour- 45 min ish. Nearing the end, I asked Joel not to catch the baby- as he was kneeling outside the tub holding my head, neck and shoulders and pushing over my ears with each contraction. I felt bad asking him but I needed him to stay with me- his support meant everything to me.
After a push Jen asked: “Did your other kids have hair? Yes. This one has lots too!” That’s always an inspiration that the end is near- when you know they can see the hair! With each push Jen gave me instructions- plant your feet hard in the tub, push down, stop, now blow it away, I’m going to help her get around this corner….
With my worship playlist on and the lights dimmed, supported by my best friend, with my eyes closed and a picture of Jesus standing up in front of his throne and leaning over, His eyes were on me—- I gave the final push and LONDYN ERIN HUIZING was born into this world!! She was placed on my chest right away. I cried and cried- out of JOY, out of EXCITEMENT, out of RELIEF!
NO WORDS- I wish there were words to describe the way it feels to birth a baby into this world- but I can’t express even half as much as when it was actually happening. The best word I can think of is EUPHORIC- yes a weird word that I would never use in any other context- but that’s the closest I can get. PURE JOY. And SUPERNATURAL- as if it’s a little taste of heaven just for a moment as I get to experience bringing new life into the earth.
The Birth Story of Brooks Benjamin Frerik.
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“This may not have been the birth you would have chosen, but it was the birth Brooks needed”.
My midwife made this statement moments after Brooks was born. This statement is KEY to the whole story of Brooks’ birth. It’s also the key to a healthy, supernatural birth! As a woman you may have “preferences" for your labor and birth (I know I do!), but ultimately- a supernatural birth God’s way means you submit yourself and your plans and preferences to Him- HE KNOWS what baby needs and He’s got it covered if you hook up with Him. I do need to mention here- when I say “preferences”- please understand these are things like birthing in the water verses the bed or birthing at home vs hospital, or not going overdue or having a baby in the day instead of middle of night…. It’s so important to know that there are promises in God’s Word that you can stand on as a “non- negotiable”. These are not preferences, but Promises from your Father to you… things like a healthy baby, healthy mama, protection from all evil and accidents, and strength (spiritual, mental, and physical) for the task of labor! I have lots to share on the subject of God’s promises in childbirth, but that’s for another post another time!
Throughout my pregnancy with Brooks, just like all the others- it had been a supernatural experience. I have strong healthy pregnancies, little to no pregnancy “ailments” or complaints- and we knew birth and labor would be covered in God’s grace and provision as well. Whenever I would pray about labor/ birth, I asked God for any specific direction He had to share. I had done this with each pregnancy and had a notebook of what I had learned and scriptures I had stood on with each child, but I wanted to submit this specific labor and delivery to God. As I did, I kept hearing “remain in me, stay in me”. Just a simple statement from John 15. Nothing major other than the reminder to stay connected to Him !
When I was getting more and more overdue and Joel was praying about pending labor, I asked him the same thing- He just kept getting “it’s all good”. As the days would go on and we were getting closer to the medical deadline of being overdue, I asked God “is there something I need to know here? Something I am missing?” And I didn’t hear or sense anything other than that- “it’s all good”. We did what we needed to do in the natural- went for all the medical checks you do for baby when you are overdue (every day or so)- and they all confirmed what we knew- each test baby scored amazing-100% in all areas! So- we waited. And TRUSTED. I didn’t realize at that time how important the theme of TRUST would be in this birth!
Due Date to Deadline: March 6th to March 19th:
We’ve all heard the statements “Baby will come out when they’re ready”…. Or “labor will start eventually”… Well in this case- it never did! We were 13 days overdue with our child before this (our 3rd baby) and we NEVER thought that would happen again, so at first it was just funny: “Is this really happening AGAIN?!” But as the deadline of how long I could go overdue (14 days) got closer and closer, I had to work every day to keep my mind from screaming “why isn’t this happening yet?!”.
Dealing with the disappointment of labor not starting…. A scripture I love and live by is Romans 10:11 (AMP) - For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him [whoever adheres to, trusts in, and relies on Him] will not be disappointed [in his expectations].” I have NEVER been disappointed when I have chosen to TRUST GOD. But real trust happens when you’re in the MIDDLE - to believe before you see the end result, but thats what trust requires; in fact- that’s what faith in God is all about. So despite not knowing why labor wasn’t starting on its own, I made the choice to TRUST. There were moments where feelings of disappointment crept in, but I had to remind myself over and over: God is good and He’s got this.
Friday March 20th:
After 2 weeks of waiting, here’s where the situation was at, naturally speaking: After 14 days past your due date, the medical recommendations all state there is a risk to baby if you continue to go overdue. Not only that, the option for home birth is gone- you need to deliver in hospital due to increased risk. Now for us- we knew baby was healthy, whole, and supernaturally protected. But we did not have a leading from the Lord to continue to go overdue- we knew it was time for baby to come OUT. But we had ONE LAST OPTION to try: Castor oil!!
8am: In my midwife’s words- we had officially tried everything else she had ever known that could possibly induce labor!! Castor oil was the final option to medical induction. So in the morning, surrounded by my kids and husband as support (yes they chanted “chug, chug”!) - I downed the recommended dose of castor oil and waited for it to do it’s thing! The results were a bit, ummm, surprising, but not as bad as I had heard! But unfortunately- it didn’t induce labor in any way!!
12:30pm: Castor oil: Round 2! Because Round 1 didn’t cause anything to start- I had to do another round. This one was blahhh- could hardly swallow it down- but I did it! Only to find out that again- zero contractions!!
8pm: We received a call from the midwife to discuss “options”. We could either 1. Go to the hospital in the AM and be “induced”, or, 2. Ignore all medical advice and recommendations and just wait to see if baby comes on his own- highly cautioned against because baby was now 14 days overdue. We agreed with the medical recommendations. So we knew from that conversation- unless labor started in the next few hours- home birth was no longer an option. But I was still 100% against being induced! We needed something to change here.
8:30pm: A time of prayer… Together in our room Joel and I had a time of worship. We praised God together, thanked Him for all His provision in this pregnancy, and prayed in the spirit over the next steps. We didn’t have a sense that myself or baby was in danger, or that anything was wrong. It was a sweet time together in God’s presence and I believe it was key to getting my thoughts settled and the fact that regardless of where baby came out (my bedroom or a hospital), all would be well. My biggest desire was not to be induced. And as you’ll soon see, God was so gracious to me in fulfilling this desire ;)
Saturday March 21st:
6:30am: I got up early; I couldn’t sleep knowing we needed to contact the midwife and make our decision before 7:30am. I had a few contractions in the night- but nothing regular or strong. I went downstairs, read my Bible, prayed a bit… Still not sensing anything new…. Still working through the feelings of having to let go of a home birth, I knew it was time go get baby out.
7:30am: Time to contact the midwife, who had a wonderful announcement- she had come up with “Plan C”. This was what we had prayed out! I did NOT want to get induced via IV etc. I so badly wanted my body to go into labor on its own. Her new Plan C was just what I needed: To come in to the hospital and have them break my water, and then use natural means to try and get labor to progress on it’s own. Yes please!
12pm: I had complete peace when we agreed to this decision, but still, packing up to go to the hospital felt surreal. It’s been said that I am a perfect candidate for a homebirth. Our last one was all I had imagined and more! I kept thinking: I have had 3 babies already- and quite easily! Why with the 4th baby was labor just not happening?! But still- I held on to the fact that my job was to trust God- not make the plans for my preferences! I didn’t even know what to pack, so we grabbed a few essentials and threw them in the bag. We realized we didn’t have a new take home outfit for a baby boy because the sleeper I bought was ‘premie”- oops lol- this 14 day overdue babe was definitely not going to fit that lol.
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1:00pm: All checked in at the hospital, and surprisingly, it was a lot better than I thought. We got our own big room for the midwife to use- basically like “borrowing” a room from the hospital- we didn’t have to deal with any of the “hospital formalities”- it was just us and her. I tried to make the most of it- it was still private, it just wasn’t my own home.
1:30pm: Time to get the show on the road! They broke my water, which had no meconium in it so all was well (If you’re wondering what getting your water feels like- it’s basically like peeing your pants ;) Next I was checked and actually laughed out loud when I found out I was STILL only 3cm dilated, and my cervix was still quite hard. Any women out there who have ever had their “membranes swept” can laugh/ cry with me: After FOUR membrane sweeps in 7 days- I was still only 3 cm dilated?? All you can do is laugh!! (and maybe wince a little bit ;)
2pm: The next step was to use the electric breast pump (to release oxytocin naturally) and get contractions going now that my water was broken and we were literally “on the clock”. While bouncing on the birth ball, I pumped, alternating each side, waiting for contractions. After 20 minutes I felt my FIRST REAL CONTRACTION. WHOHOO!! FINALLY!
2:30pm-6:30pm: In oder to keep labor going- I had some work to do! Time for stairs, squats and lunges! Out we went to the hospital stairwell. Contractions kept coming- I was almost giddy! I did tons of lunges up the stairs, especially during contractions. We alternated lunges with squats, and tons of walking!! (I say we because Joel was right in it with me the whole time- although he felt his role was to time the contractions and yell at me like a gym trainer :) We had to go back to the hospital room for monitoring every 30 minutes. I would do more pumping, and then it was back to the lunges, walking and squats. The midwife even had me doing squats 6 inches from the ground, holding on to the bottom of the hospital bed and learning backwards!! Like I said- I had never worked this hard in labor (or in “pre-labor”) with any of my other babies (this was probably the hardest I worked for all 3 of the others combined!! )
We alternated doing this for FOUR hours!! It was a lot of work physically, but mentally my mind was set on labor happening and in that way, I didn’t mind how much work it was physically- I just kept going and the time didn’t really matter. Here was the hard part: during this time, contractions came every 4 min, then every 3 min, then every 2 min. We would get so hopeful- here we are- every 2 min! And then we would go backwards!! They would taper off to every 5 min, then 6 min, then 8-10 min (major face palm!!)
7pm: Cervix checked and I was 4cm dilated which meant I was OFFICIALLY declared to be “IN LABOR”!! It was crazy that I worked for almost 6 hours to get labor started (it gave us a good laugh!) Normally you just “go into labor”- here we were doing everything possible to get labor going! But on the other hand- I was so grateful we were able to use natural means to get it going- even if it was harder work that way.
8pm: Labor continued to progress, the birth pool was filled up, and things felt like they were moving well. I got to contractions every 2 minutes again, and noticed they really picked up when I sat on the toilet verses squats or birth ball. Things intensified every time I sat there- so Joel pulled in a stool and held my head during contractions.
9pm: I got in the birthing pool- oh. my. word. It was INCREDIBLE! I have never been so grateful for warm water. I took a few minutes to relax- my back and legs had had quite a work out the past 7 hours!! No sooner had I laid back in that gloriously relaxing water, when we realized contractions were getting more spaced out again. Back to every 5 minutes, then 8-10 minutes. I tried low squats IN the water- but nothing progressed.
9:30pm: My midwife said she had never seen a labor so “positional”- meaning I needed to be in a specific position in order for contractions to take place, so she sent me back to sit in the bathroom- where my biggest contractions had taken place. As uncomfortable as that toilet seat was compared to that luxurious birthing tub, I just wanted those contractions to come back!! And they did! I even got to the point where I felt “pushy”- where my body was starting to grunt and push involuntarily. The midwife called the secondary midwife in- meaning it looked like we were getting to the end!
10pm: And then- labor stopped. AGAIN. We went from involuntarily pushing (and needing to rush back to the pool in between contractions), to almost NOTHING (8-10 minutes a part again). We were nearing the end of another deadline: after your water has been broken for 12 hours you must be induced. It was time for a discussion.
My midwife noted that my body reacted extremely well to oxytocin- the hormone released when I was using the nursing pump. She explained we needed to get baby out soon, and my body needed another good surge of oxytocin in order to get the contractions that we needed to push baby out. The suggestion was an IV of a low dosage of oxytocin to get contractions back and stronger. I agreed. For some reason- it was like labor just wasn’t “catching”. The one thing that was too bad about the situation was that you can’t deliver in the water when you are on it. Goodbye luxurious warm water! Also- I was unsure of where I would now be laboring- laying on my back on a bed was my least favourite option- but they assured me I could stand, squat, do whatever. I agreed- Alright, time for baby to come out- whatever position/ means it was going to take.
11pm: Oxytocin IV drip starts at lowest dosage. I labor on the birth ball, learning over the bed. Joel still holds my head (hands over my ears- don’t know why- always my request) while I have contractions. Contractions very quickly increase to every 1-2 minutes (it’s working!) I bite the pillow during a few hard ones; then- it gets pushy!
11:20ish: They get me up on the bed- my least favourite birthing position because I have an injured tailbone from years back. Instead I ask to labor kneeling on bed- they help me get into position- and we find out- baby does NOT like this- his heart rate goes irregular, and they suggest I need to get on my back again. I do and baby stabilizes.
Time to PUSH!!
This is where things got a little intense. So weird how you can be totally present, but also feel like you are removed from the situation at the same time. I could hear everything they were saying, but I still felt like I was in my own focused world (Side note this is one of the things I love about having a drug free birth- you are very present and aware!) I could hear the midwives talking about baby’s heart rate dropping and they were getting serious- One turned to me and said ok we need to get baby out- now.
Again my least favourite position is on my back, but things needed to happen and that was the position baby needed. Anyone who has had a baby knows the absolute intensity of this time. I had a few good pushes, but definitely was feeling weak from all the physical labor I did. It took me these few pushes to get into a good position and get in my groove (gripping Joel’s hand till he felt it might break lol). At this point, baby’s heart rate still wasn’t doing good so my midwife asked me to do a big push WITHOUT a contraction. This was the finale. I remember asking rather loudly “REALLY”?!? As in- push with no contractions?! I heard a chorus of “you can do it”- and that one “contraction-less” push got his head out. Things were still a bit frantic, but heart rate was stabilizing.
11:52pm: With the next contraction, out came the rest of my perfect 9 lb 2 oz 22 inch long precious baby. Onto my chest he came. I was crying uncontrollably, unaware of anything else except for the amazing miracle laying on my chest. Joel took a quick peak and I asked him “sooooo?” “It’s a BOY!” He declared. I knew it- all along I had seen a little boy. Joel and I cried together and admired our little miracle. All of our children were here with us now, our family complete! Brooks was the grand finale and we could sense the emotion of it being our last baby. The moment Brooks was put on my chest was one of the top 4 moments of my life. I cannot put into words the privilege of bringing life into the world. What an honour to do it again for the fourth time.
12:30am: Giddy, elated, exhausted! We finally decided on a name: Brooks Benjamin Frerick Huizing. Brooks had been Joel’s 1 boy name throughout this whole pregnancy, and Frerick is after his Opa Huizing who’s life and legacy had impacted our lives in so many ways.
3am: Because I was in the care of a midwife, I was allowed to be released from the hospital right away, and sent home to my own bed!! It felt so weird driving home in the middle of the night with a brand new baby, right after giving birth, but it was oh so worth it to climb into our own bed, Joel, myself and baby boy, and wake up the next morning to a precious newborn snoring between us.
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Filling in the Blanks: What We Learned In the Minutes After Brooks’ Birth:
We may not know all the reasons why labor wasn’t starting or progressing on it’s own, or why we needed to be in the hospital verses our home. And I don’t need to know all the answers! Our baby boy was 100% healthy, and so was I- that’s all I needed! But we did learn a few interesting things from our midwife after he came out that we could’t have known prior to:
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The umbilical chord was around his neck. It wasn’t tight around his neck, but my midwife had to quickly flip it off his head as he was coming out. Thank God for His protection!
2. Brooks’ head was big! (Well all of him was big!) and the shape/ position of his head may have contributed to labor not starting (he wasn’t engaging)
3. Heartrate dropping: For whatever reason, baby had been 100% happy in there the whole labor, but at the end, his heart rate changed drastically. Had we been in the birth pool, it may not have been as apparent. The fact that I was out of the water and hooked up to the monitor helped everyone know what was needed.
4. “This was the birth Brook’s needed”- all these things added up to this statement- this was what baby boy needed in order to get her safely.
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My Favourites in this Birth Experience:
I love to note all the amazing things about each birth experience after the fact. Here are a few of the things I am so grateful for- I know God did it just for me!
1.Hardly any physical recovery. 9lb 2 oz baby- and I had zero tears, damage, and even- zero swelling! This just shows how God has designed our bodies to birth babies! He made our bodies so they can stretch and shift as needed- and I have definitely experienced that in a supernatural way each birth experience. (My only recovery was that I pulled my arm muscles doing the ground squats, and my hamstring during lunges lol)
2. Supernatural peace. When I compare this birth to Max’s birth (my easiest of all 4 births) I would say this one was 1000x more work- mentally and physically- but yet, it had the exact same supernatural peace in it as all the others. God’s peace passes all understanding- it’s not natural- so it doesn’t what’s going on outwardly. Throughout this whole birth experience, with deadlines present and the intense ending with heart rate issues- there was ONLY peace present. I’m so thankful God had helped train me in His Word that He WOULD keep me in perfect peace- if I kept my mind on Him.
3. Zero disappointment. As I noted earlier in this story, I struggled with a bit of disappointment when labor didn’t start/ when I had to give up a home birth/ and a water birth! But in the end- I had ZERO disappointment- because we had put our trust in God to lead each step of this labor- and it was exactly what baby needed- there wasn’t even a trace of disappointment in the end. Baby boy was now in my arms- nothing else mattered!
4. Joel. He is one of my favourite parts of each birth experience- and this one was no exception. Laboring with my husband as my coach, cheerleader, and greatest supporter is an experience I will always be grateful for. And this one had the icing on the cake when he got to announce to me for the first time the gender of our baby (so glad we waited for the last one!)
